Smt. Shobha Srinivasan
Date: 5th Oct 2022
Am I the teacher or the taught?
Am I the musician or the music?
Am I the ocean or the wave?
Am I the creator or the created?
Do I have to be either?
Can I be both?
Can I be both sometimes and can I be either sometimes?
Welcome to this column where we contemplate on such questions through musical experience and connecting that to life experience and then drawing a practice out of these.
Question: Why is it that others are able to see the flaws in us easily?
Musical Experience
Way back in 2006, I signed up for a learning session from Sri T K Govinda Rao Mama (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/T._K._Govindarao) for learning Purandara Dasa Keerthanas. It was an one on one session. Before that, other than Dr. TRS (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/T._R._Subramaniam#), I had never learnt directly from any legendary musicians. So, I was quite excited and first few classes went very well. I used to record each session for home practice. In one of the sessions, Mama corrected me and told me to pay attention to Sruthi and this kept happening at a particular place. I usually am very particular about the Sruthi. To me it looked really fine. Usually I am very critical about myself and also don’t hesitate to accept when I make a mistake. In this particular case though, I really could not figure out that Sruthi was off. I felt it was quite ok. So, when he kept insisting, I started to think in my mind - may be he is not able to listen to me well. Our session ended that day but still the question kept lingering at the back of my mind - why did he feel so?
The next day as I sat for practice and put the recording and that particular place came and I listened to myself repeat after him, I could immediately know I was off.
Connecting the dots….
We have heard about the word “Sakshi Bhaav” or “Witness Consciousness” and probably wondered why is it so important. Here is why it is so important. When we have our baggages, a particular mindset and we are completely consumed by our understanding and we are listening only to our voice (ahankaram) and not the constant Sruthi (Omnipresent) that is playing, we are bound to not notice subtle energies (energies beyond our sense perception). That’s when a master is required to nudge us to look into ourselves so we can find it within ourself.
All that is asked of us is to be open to learning. Learning music or any art or any sport is not only about that art or sport, but it is to learn about life through that.
Practice
Any experience teaches us something to add on to our tool box for practicing. So, what am I practicing with this experience? Well, I have not been regular about it but I do practice seeing myself in the mirror while singing or speaking. I make faces assuming some emotions and then contemplate on how I would have looked to the other person, when I was consumed by some irritation or expectation or hurt.
I remind myself that all someone else can see is our outside. With this practice of self seeing, our flaws become evident first to us so we can work on it immediately. All the work happens inside so that the outside can radiate good energy.
See you in the next episode with yet another musical experience and life lesson.